I was 35 when I cautiously began to contemplate having a child using a donor. I’d dated relentlessly, and was very aware of the risks of declining fertility – I didn’t want to miss my chance to be a mum. But it was a massive leap for me. I’d never met or heard of anyone who had done it before, and it just felt so “out there”.
Within a few months of joining the forum I went to my first in-person catch up, and it changed everything! I met women with older kids, toddlers, babies, those who were pregnant and those who were TTC. There were also other women just like me, considering whether to take the plunge. Suddenly it didn’t feel so “out there” – it was something that I could do.
It took me a number of IVF cycles to fall pregnant, but the group of women I met on the forum supported me through the whole process. Several of us had babies within weeks of each other, and became our very own SMC mother’s group. Apart from the support and friendship that we each have received, our kids are growing up knowing each other – normalising the experience of being both donor conceived, and a part of an SMC family.
My son is now school-aged. Despite the challenges of motherhood (of which there are many!), I don’t have any regrets about my decision to have him on my own. He’s such a special little guy – I can’t imagine my life without him. It may sound odd, but there aren’t many days where I think of myself as an SMC. There are of course differences and nuances that are unique to the SMC experience, but at the end of the day I don’t feel any different to any other mum. It is my everyday, my ordinary.